Nerves & what nots

They always get the best of me. They hold me back from doing a lot of things. I don't speak up when I should and can never seem to get the nerve to call people when I should and I hate that. I have fear of being wrong or invasive or controlling. I think it's something I really need to work on.

I've been having a lot of vivid dreams lately. Normally I don't remember having dreams, I don't remember what happens for the most part in these dreams but they wake me up and i know they feel real. Not sure what's going on in my head, maybe it's because I'm watching a lot of Lost and crazy shit happens on that show. Ha.

My next post that I'm supposed to be writing is about 'a stranger'. I've started it but can't seem to finish it. It's a weird one for sure. I'm wondering if I should observe a stranger and talk about it or talk about how I feel about strangers in general. I'll figure it out eventually.

Chris' birthday is coming up. I have ideas and plans... but nothing concrete yet... plus I'm freaking poverty so it doesn't help much. His bike ride is this weekend so I won't be able to do anything just yet anyways. He deserves something special :)

I talked to Janelle last week who is the owner of the Cupcake Store that I used to work for and they are opening again in Downtown Disney. I really need to sack up and call her and see what's up. I really need that job but I don't want to sound desperate.

This month is weird... on the 5th I interviewed for Disneyland and got the job.... this weekend a year ago I moved to Southern California and on Halloween it was my first day as a Disneyland cast member. It's gone by so fast. I'm in a spot that I didn't think I would be in. I saw things differently but I'm happy with how things are. At least the big picture. I'm happy, alive, well so I can't complain too much.

Time to get ready for work :)