Tuesday, October 26, 2010


That's kind of upsetting...

One of my friend's is about to pop out another kiddo and posted on facebook asking for suggestions on baby names. Of course I have my own personal list and wasn't handing out my selections that I have been building on and tried to keep up to date for many years. Don't judge me, lol.

Anyhoo....I was just looking up names by letters and came across one of the names that I love love love...
Huxley and it means: The inhospitable place.... and inhospitable in a person meaning - Unfriendly and unwelcoming toward people.

Well that's just great... crap. I guess I will just have to keep that on the back burner and or cross it off the list. My dad will be happy because he has already attempted to forbid me from naming one of my children this but I guess I should have looked up the meaning before. Either way it was going to be a challenge to convince whomever I'm married to or having children with to allow me to name a baby boy that anyways.

I should probably post on here my list and keep it updated because who knows if my LJ will crash one day... I've had that thing since freaking high school.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nerves & what nots

They always get the best of me. They hold me back from doing a lot of things. I don't speak up when I should and can never seem to get the nerve to call people when I should and I hate that. I have fear of being wrong or invasive or controlling. I think it's something I really need to work on.

I've been having a lot of vivid dreams lately. Normally I don't remember having dreams, I don't remember what happens for the most part in these dreams but they wake me up and i know they feel real. Not sure what's going on in my head, maybe it's because I'm watching a lot of Lost and crazy shit happens on that show. Ha.

My next post that I'm supposed to be writing is about 'a stranger'. I've started it but can't seem to finish it. It's a weird one for sure. I'm wondering if I should observe a stranger and talk about it or talk about how I feel about strangers in general. I'll figure it out eventually.

Chris' birthday is coming up. I have ideas and plans... but nothing concrete yet... plus I'm freaking poverty so it doesn't help much. His bike ride is this weekend so I won't be able to do anything just yet anyways. He deserves something special :)

I talked to Janelle last week who is the owner of the Cupcake Store that I used to work for and they are opening again in Downtown Disney. I really need to sack up and call her and see what's up. I really need that job but I don't want to sound desperate.

This month is weird... on the 5th I interviewed for Disneyland and got the job.... this weekend a year ago I moved to Southern California and on Halloween it was my first day as a Disneyland cast member. It's gone by so fast. I'm in a spot that I didn't think I would be in. I saw things differently but I'm happy with how things are. At least the big picture. I'm happy, alive, well so I can't complain too much.

Time to get ready for work :)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

One of those days

I just woke up today super happy. I had a good night as exhausted as I was from being awake from like 6am - 3am-ish.... went to a class, worked a mid shift, played in the park but had to say goodbye to a friend, then had some awesome cuddle time :) I woke up a couple of times and still had a ska genius mix going on from itunes and kept hearing good songs and going back to sleep.

I hope the day continues to get better because I rather enjoy being in this good of a mood. Riding my bicycle to work will also help :)

Yay <3

5 of 30 — Your dreams

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream"

I day dream a lot. Mostly of times when my life will be on a better track.

I dream of finding something that I can excel at in life. I dream of making a difference in people's lives. I dream of not exactly being successful but feeling for myself that I am a success. I dream of getting my pilot's license and being able to just go and fly anytime I want to. I dream of having a family. Of being married and settled down. I'm not ready for it yet but I look forward to it. I guess nothing in particular it is that I dream of, just general dreams of a good life. I wish there was something that could point me in the right direction

I always wish to fast forward this hard time in my life to where I can get to the easy part. But in the past couple of years I've realized there is no easy part in life. If life were easy then it would be rather boring. And no matter how old you are, there is always going to be some challenge or some hardship to overcome. Whether is be relationships (through lovers, family and friends) or financial or survival. I am excited to see what my life will be like later on and I just want to get there already.

Things right now are fantastic. Minus every financial problem I have...I'm happy. And it feels nice to say that again. I'm working a dream job not necessarily what I'm doing but I'm happy day to day and look forward to working and that isn't something everyone can say. My plan is to just keep on living and doing things that make me happy.