Wednesday, June 17, 2009

why now?

do i just let people talk to me mean or mean about people and just let it happen?

i think that's something i need to learn how to stop. but how?

yesterday shann called me and since i was driving i figured i'd talk to her. when she did the photos of me the other week i made the mistake (i'm assuming it's a mistake now) of telling her kind of the stuff that i had been talking about regarding spencer in the other post and now it's like she feels the need to get on my ass about talking to him about all the stuff that's been going on. i told her i was giving myself till the end of the month to talk to him, and i think that's appropriate. but i also think that she got the feeling that i wanted to break up with him and now it's like she's trying to push that onto me. we went over to mike & shann's place after the pics and spencer picked me up from there and we ate dinner with them... so then shann proceeds to tell me yesterday that she 'sees all the stuff that i was talking about' and that mike thinks that spencer is a douche, and he tried really hard to not think that way.... so wtf? how the hell am i supposed to respond to that?

and when the doctor asked if i was OCD when i wanted to take notes at my pre op
and the vet that told me gidget was preggo when i was coming to pick her up and no one called...?

shouldn't i be having some sort of response?

but i don't...

and i don't want to tell spencer about it cuz he doesn't like them anyways so it's not worth the whatever drama...

i'm not sure why i'm friends with her, but i also don't know how to break up a friendship

i always get stuck with people because i'm too nice and take their calls, and offer to help with stuff, and be their bridesmaid....

i'm sure it has to do with the confrontation and disapproval of people, i try really hard to not disappoint people and i think i get myself into stupid things that i don't want to do because of it

and here we go again, shann's gonna take pics of me again. but hey, if she makes me feel good about myself i think i'll take that and run

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